Nothing But Bull
Politics are for dummies
Published: Sunday, October 28, 2012
Updated: Monday, November 5, 2012 20:11
With the presidential election right around the corner, UB students – along with the rest of the country – are fervently defending their opinions and candidates.
Molly Strauss, a senior business administration major, decided the best way to support Mitt Romney was to take to Facebook and comment on her Democratic friends’ statuses, harassing anyone who supported Obama.
Strauss has begun to alienate her friends with her ignorant and completely inaccurate comments. She and her friend Joanne Tull, a junior communication major, began a debate via Facebook that mutual friends considered, “one of the most spirited arguments void of any point.”
Strauss and Tull are not the only students on social media debating politics. After watching each debate, sophomore English major Todd Davey turned to his Twitter account to reiterate what each candidate said, but he made sure to do so in “cute,” condescending quips.
“My favorite one was when I said, ‘Oh hey, Romney, is Massachusetts awesome? I’m not sure I understood you,’” Davey said, giggling at his brilliance. “I had a field day with Joe Biden. That guy’s nuts.”
Davey, a Democrat, believes Obama should win because he has the better Twitter page, the more badass persona and the hotter wife.
Republicans have a leg up on the Democrats in one respect: planning for the future. Peter Benz, a senior communication major and diehard Republican, has taken the past two months to prepare for Obama’s potential re-election.
Benz has been ordering nonperishable food and collecting water and weaponry to prepare for “Obama take two.”
“I’ve gotten really good at using a crossbow,” Benz said. “Those are the skills you’re going to need soon.”
Benz believes there will be an “all-out nuclear war” if Obama is re-elected. Other countries will “bomb the crap out of America,” and he is taking precautions to be prepared.
“Listen, once America becomes a wasteland, all you Democrats are going to regret your vote,” Benz scoffed. “Seriously, you’re going vote for a man who throws money at poor people and lets women have rights over their own baby-making parts? Please. Democrats aren’t allowed in my bomb shelter on top of my mountain.”
Ryan Lockwood, a junior communication major and Benz’s roommate, believes Benz is just really into The Walking Dead.
“I bleed red blood,” Benz said. “When my friends post statuses about Obama on Facebook, I make sure to let them know their beliefs are stupid and they should feel stupid. When I’m sitting atop my mountain, eating my can of beans with my crossbow in hand, that’s when I’ll say, ‘I told you so!’”