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Parody Columns

  • bull

    Nothing But Bull

    Breaking News: cops useless, chivalry dead

    This past weekend, the streets of the University Heights were filled with kids getting drunk, kids acting out scenes from Reefer Madness, kids throwing sucker punches at unsuspecting students and cops patrolling the streets throwing tickets in the air, making it rain.

  • Nothing But Bull

    “I’ve been waiting all summer to see these amazing football players,” said no one ever

    UB’s football team lost its third game of the season Wednesday night to Kent State, 23-7. Surrounded by unresponsive fans who cared much more about tailgating before and winning free stuff during, the game was as nail-biting as watching The 700 Club on repeat.

  • Nothing But Bull

    Oh look, a new bus, AND it’s Gone.

    The Stampede has been revamped this year – the buses look nice, they’re shiny, they’re pretty and apparently they’re air-conditioned. Unfortunately, only a few students have seen – let alone sat in – the new buses, leading many to believe they simply don’t exist.

  • bull

    Nothing But Bull

    Student confused why he didn’t get laid this weekend

    Jonathon Myers, a freshman communication major, felt a severe blow to his confidence over the course of Labor Day weekend, due to what he believes is UB’s general female population’s complete and utter lack of taste.

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Recent Comments

  • Case dropped against professor arrested for protesting anti-abortion display
    Paragraph 4, line 1: "Curry used the •work• "f***" repeatedly and told University Police,"

    Besides the point college newspapers do not indulge in sophisticated nor proper logomachy, development of at least certain circulated publication ensures a rather intellectual public display of niche writers.

    posted by: Anonymous
  • You Can Go to War, But Can’t Drink Alcohol
    the age should be 19 that way you r at least out of high school.
    posted by: me myself and i
  • Landlord responds to negative publicity
    He also doesn't welcome his tenants to his place of business; his house. My roommates tried to pay him a visit because he refuses to answer phone calls..he yelled at them and said their banging on his door was a disturbance to his television viewing. He is awful.
    posted by: Anonymous
  • The Secret Genius of Ke$ha
    I enjoy her music, it makes me feel like a dumb kid, it gets rid of my stress. Her music is not necessarily bad.
    posted by: Anonymous
  • Letter to the Editor
    One need only contact Ayesha Kreutz of the Frederick Douglass Foundation Of New York (www.FDFNY.org) to get the real story of US politicians and religious leaders sharing information on how to deal with freed negroes.
    UB needs more oversight of their faculty adhering to "Core Learning Outcomes for the UB Student", rather than bringing peaceful student protesters up on charges.
    posted by: UB GRAD
  • Why Put a Bumper Sticker on a Ferrari?
    I think this is stupid. Why don't you write an article about how you should embrace who you are and love yourself? This just sounds like an an angry, judge mental article that fuels the hate that is already too common anyway. If you don't like tattoos than don't get tattoos.You ask why put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari? BECAUSE I LIKE BUMPER STICKERS! Why don't you tell people to accept their bodies and embrace themselves instead of trying to put everyone in one category? Women are beautiful, so are men. Humans are beautiful. All of us, and if we all loved ourselves and loved others for being themselves maybe we would live in a better world. Tell people that weight isn't everything and help someone who is anorexic. Tell someone that we all matter and give them a reason to not self harm. Tell someone that being healthy is worth the struggle so they can help fight their addiction. Don't tell people that how they express themselves is wrong. Shame on you.
    posted by: Anonymous
  • Smoking incident causes fire in Spaulding 1
    It WAS NOT a smoking incident. That's a nice safe story for parents though so we'll stick with that.
    posted by: Anonymous
  • King Wizard’s return to rap
    Gambino isn't taking a shot at Cudi, listen to the music.
    posted by: Anonymous
  • Procrastination medication
    I guess this means the Spectrum is in the business of exploiting dumbass college kids who don't understand that employers will search google for their names and see this? All in the name of a dope story.
    posted by: Anonymous
  • Can’t sacrifice my Judaism
    Glad you agree. I understand your question. There are many good points in the article, so please take it as a whole and hope that the school comes to its senses. I am not the author of the article.
    posted by: Anonymous

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