An UGGly Acquisition
Published: Monday, January 30, 2012
Updated: Monday, November 5, 2012 20:11
I don't consider myself to be the greatest fashionista UB has ever seen. I do, however, take pride in having the ability to mix and match exotic articles of clothing, for a put-together, yet gracefully-messy look.
I believe in Sex & The City style fedoras, heavy eye make up, and chunky watches. I love sheer tops, backless shirts, and low cut body suits that are only acceptable when nipple tape is in the picture.
Most importantly, I'm not afraid to take risks and experiment with new fashion. I'm open to a variety of styles.
The one thing that hasn't seen the inside of my closet since 2007, though, is an ever so overrated, boring, and absolutely hideous pair of UGGs.
Do you girls (or, even worse, boys) enjoy wearing boots that get soaked through before you even get to class from your dorm room?
"At least they're comfortable."
Yeah – any religious UGG-wearer would say that – but I don't get it. Is frostbite on your toes and wet socks seriously the new comfort? If so, I really need to start rethinking my life.
Do you know where you go to school? We might as well live in the arctic. So what are you thinking with those UGGs on your feet?
Get a pair of Hunter boots. If you're willing to spend the money on UGGs then you may as well put your money where it's worth and get something more stylish and protective from the harsh weather.
Even a cheap pair of rain boots from Target covered with umbrellas, hearts, and cookies beats the notorious UGG boot.
Not only do these poodle-like shoes make sure your feet smell like a wet dog by the end of the day, but also, after approximately 10 minutes in the snow, they don't even match your outfit anymore.
The whole front half of the UGG becomes several shades darker than the top half and people begin to wonder whether UGG created tie-dyed shoes or you forgot to take them off before you got in the shower that morning.
Don't even get me started with the neon-colored UGGs.
I understand – there was a point when our parents got so excited that UGGs strayed away from the sand- and chestnut-colored shoe, and so they purchased every color they could find, thinking colored UGGs were the greatest invention since sliced bread.
But those were the old days, and now it's time to make way for the new. We don't need to wear what our parents pick out for us. It's time to stop wearing these boots that make your legs look like rods for the cotton candy-colored fluff that is unfortunately resting on your feet.
The only time I look down at people's feet without actually looking down upon their UGGs is when they're wearing the UGG slippers. I think wearing UGG slippers around the house or on a really lazy day to class is acceptable. If you are a sucker for the UGG slippers and you do this, just use your lazy days wisely – soon people will start judging you.
Even then, though, I twitch a little thinking about how many Essie nail polish colors I could have bought with the $99.95 that was spent on the same pair of shoes that costs $14 at Payless.
Overpriced, smelly, and completely inconvenient – purchasing these boots is nothing but an UGGly situation.