A true work of fantasy
Published: Thursday, November 29, 2012
Updated: Thursday, November 29, 2012 13:11
In all four of the leagues I’m in, people think fantasy is a sport. It’s not. Fantasy is an art.
We’re not athletes. Nope, not even the kid in your league who carries around his lax stick – it’s for show. Instead, we’re sculptors, painters and actors. Whether it’s constantly chiseling your lineup, brushing up on the latest fantasy news or pretending your players are worth trading for, a fantasy team is a masterpiece and we are the masters.
If fools could fly, my fantasy league would be an airport. Sure it’s harsh, but it’s true.
So here’s my advice: Don’t be a fan of your own fantasy team. Stop believing in your team. Be critical of it and don’t settle for mediocrity. A fan can look at his or her favorite team and say something like: “Well, our secondary isn’t all that good, but our offense is dynamic. We can still win the Super Bowl.”
Neither fantasy owners nor artists can hold that view. We can’t think one strong part of our lineup will compensate for a weak part. Just because you have Tom Brady, that doesn’t make it OK to settle for Greg Little as your No. 2 receiver.
So stop being happy with the way your lineup looks. It’s your weak spots that will cost you in the long run. And guess what? You’re out of time. Playoffs are a week away, for most of us, and if you want any real chance of winning this year, you’re going to need to upgrade at least one position.
I don’t care if it’s just your kicker or defense that needs improvement. Those positions, believe it or not, are what will win you the championship this year.
You have Drew Brees and the other guy has Aaron Rodgers – not much you can adjust there. So go to your kicker. Are there any free agents who have outscored your kicker in the past four weeks? If so, then what in the sweet Yiddish New Year are you waiting for? There’s no time to hope for a turnaround. Find the kickers and defenses that have played well the past couple weeks and Pick. Them. Up.
I’ll leave you with this: Tony Romo has dated Carrie Underwood (the most beautiful woman ever) and Jessica Simpson, and he is now married to former Miss Missouri winner Candice Crawford. But has this helped his ability to come from behind?
And in case you were wondering, being a fantasy columnist doesn’t mean you get dates. Just like cooking the perfect turkey doesn’t mean you can skip the gravy and getting an A in calculus doesn’t make you a good FIFA player. Good outcomes in parts of your life don’t translate to or compensate for weaker sections. A fantasy team operates like a machine, and if you want it to succeed, it requires all parts to be strong and to be cared for.
Here are some of the new guys on the block who could make the difference for you managers trying to make the playoffs this week, along with this week’s Confidence Ratings.
Bryce Brown(RB/PHI) – Confidence Rating: 10/13
My man. As he picked up over 30 points last week, he was my top scorer. Loving this kid for another week here, as he faces a battered Cowboys defense.
Jacquizz Rodgers(ATL/RB) – C.R.: 6.734ish/13
Not only is his name fun to say, but his opponent this week is the New Orleans Saints, whose defense is atrocious. New Orleans is by far the worst in rushing defense, possibly worse than the 1966 Giants defense. Also, expect Atlanta to try to increase Rodgers’ role a little bit the next two weeks so he can complement Michael Turner in the playoffs.
Mohamed Sanu(CIN/WR) – C.R.: 7/13
OK, so I’m going out on a limb here – a very long and fragile limb. And there’s a lumberjack ready to axe off the limb. But I’m just going to say he’s played really well the past couple weeks, and AJ Green isn’t hogging all the throws anymore.
Donald Brown(IND/RB) – C.R.: 2/13
I’ve spent enough weeks giving this guy a chance. He’s still banged up. Apparently he needs his knees to run, and unfortunately for him, he’s only got one left. Not only would I say sit him, but also I wouldn’t bat an eye to the idea of dropping him for a better prospect like Rodgers.
Bye week teams:None
Eliminator/Survival pick: I doubt anyone is still in the running, so forget about it.