Never Date a Girl Who Can Read

By Chris Rahn
On November 19, 2010

  • Junior forward Marek Albert (22) and his team continued to struggle to score goals, as they fell to Bowling Green 3-0 on Saturday. Spectrum File Photo

 When I was younger, one of my family members, after a long night of drinking, told me to never date a girl who could read.

I wasn't quite sure how to take the advice.

Well into my last year of college, I'm still trying to determine what he meant. This is as far as I've gotten.

If there's one thing in this world that can make men powerless it's women. Come on, I know we may not all be that smart, but we're better than that.

So why not date a dumb girl who doesn't quite know how to take advantage of you?

I've had experiences with both smart and not-so-smart girls, and there are benefits to both.

If you see a pretty girl with a pile of books in front of her in the library, trust me, she's smarter than you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, just know that she will be impossible to manipulate, and she will always get what she wants.

However, she will be able to hold a conversation, which is always a plus. But there are negatives to this situation.

Take Tiger Woods, for example. Around this time last year, Woods was probably the greatest human on planet Earth. He was a multi-billionaire, was the most dominant athlete in his sport, had a whole country in love with him, and had a beautiful wife.

There was only one problem: his wife was smart enough to know something was going on.

If he had received the great advice I had, he would still be on top of the world.

Instead, his wife read his text messages and found out that he was indeed cheating on her. She proceeded to go crazy on him with a golf club and Woods crashed his SUV and eventually his life.

This is an easily avoidable situation for Woods. And I know what you're thinking; he shouldn't have cheated on his wife. Yeah, this is probably true. He shouldn't have left his text messages open for her to read, too. Again, a mistake on Woods' part.

But that is all beyond the point.

The real mistake was marrying someone who was able to sniff out his extramarital activities. Oh, and she took $110 million from him.

I'm not saying find a girl that you can get away with lying to, or cheat on. What I'm really saying is, make sure that you don't get taken advantage of. This is for your own protection.

As a man, you want to be in control, and you can achieve this by dating a dumb girl. For example, a girl from Long Island.

Personally, I would prefer a smart girl. I think I'm able to hold my own in a situation like that, but a lot of us men can't.

Don't take the title literally, I don't actually mean "never date a girl who can read." It would just be ludicrous to limit your options like that. And obviously, it would be really dumb for anyone to take dating advice from me. I mean, I did just severely reduce the number of girls in this school that will talk to me by writing this.

What I'm trying to say is, guys, just be careful about the situations you get yourselves into.

E-mail: chris.rahn@ubspectrum.com

 


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