No chivalry, plenty of shallowness involved in popular app

By JOE KONZE JR
On February 11, 2014

Loneliness surged through me one warm night in July.

I sat on my couch with questions stirring in my mind. Would I ever find that "someone?" Or just meet a girl I could take out for a fun time on the weekend?

I flipped through my contacts, but none of the girls I decided to talk to replied to my text messages.

I grew up around a lot of women who had profound influences on my life: my mother, who has a heart of gold and taught me to be gentle; my sister Nicole, who taught me how to be a passionate person; my sister Krista, who continues to teach me how to be respectful; and both my grandmothers, who kept me in line.

I grew up knowing the correct way to treat women.

But in desperate times, we lose sight of the importance of treating people the way youwant to be treated. Desperation and the quest to find someone can make us do crazy things. That's something I realized after using the app PlentyofFish for a few months.

I joined PlentyofFish, a dating app especially popular among college students, in hopes of meeting someone with whom I could enjoy spending time. But after about six months of using the app, I realized I had lost sight of what the wonderful women in my life taught me - chivalry is my strongest suit.

Included in the app is a "meet me" portion that allows you to look at other singles in your field of interest. After you look at another person's photo, it asks if you want to meet him/her and gives you the options of yes, no and maybe.

If you answer 'yes,' a message will be sent to the other person saying that a person wants to meet you. 

Created by Markus Frind, PlentyofFish uses an algorithm that asks you a series of preliminary questions and, based off your answers, puts you in a field of people who share the same interests.

The app states that its driving idea is,"If you are in contact with 100 different singles, 50 percent of the time your future partner is in the top 10, and 17 percent of the time our service can pick."

Not thinking much about what I was doing, I sifted through pictures and hit 'yes' to the ones that I thought were attractivebased on looks and 'no' to the ones that I thought weren't attractive.

But when I looked through the profiles of the women I found attractive and read about what they liked, the personalities weren't there. It became difficult to make a decision on whether or not I liked them based on a picture and a brief blurb about them.

I later found out that the ones I had said 'no' to had interesting bios and stories to tell.

As I started looking through the ones that I said 'no' to, I realized this app was making me judge people on their appearance.

Can you even really judge someone based on appearance whenyou can't see the person's facial expressions or emotions?

It shouldn't matter how a person looks. What should matter is how you feel about that person when you get to know him/her.

Furthermore, you shouldn't judge a person based on who they say they are; you should judge them on who they show you they are.

PlentyofFish is a pond with a bunch of bait, but it doesn't offer a full enough picture of people. It can morph how you view others in everyday life and have a negative effect on your relationships. You should not dive in - no matter how lonely you get.

 

email: joseph.konze@ubspectrum.com


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