Let's talk about sex

On February 4, 2014

Editor's Note: "Patricia King" is a pen name to protect the writer's anonymity.

Does anyone else have "that friend?"

You know, that friend who gets into the most ridiculous situations. That friend who tells you the crazy thing he or she did at the bar Saturday night and your only reaction is, "that would happen to you," because that would definitely only happen to him or her.

If not, you do now.

I'm Patricia King, The Spectrum's newest sex columnist. After I tell people about my latest sexual encounters, I'm always told I should write a book. Though this isn't me writing a book, I've decided to expand my audience from my close friends and family members to the UB community.

With this column, I hope to help combat the phenomenon of "slut shaming" that happens to women. Slut-shaming, which is also known as slut bashing, is the practice of criticizing a woman for being sexual, and implies that women should feel guilty or inferior for having sex that may stray beyond societal norms.

I am a sexual woman who has had multiple sexual partners and feels comfortable acknowledging my sexual feelings. I realize most people view sex differently than me and I respect that. As long as we're all safe and smart about it, I think we'll get along fine.

Throughout this semester, you'll be able to read all about my sexcapades: the adventures of a modern-day "slut." From the time I swiped my v-card to my disastrous experimentation with K-Y jelly, I promise my column will be equal parts informative and entertaining.

This first story is one I'm not too proud of. Yes, I enjoyed the physical act of sex, but I didn't feel too great afterward and it brings me to my first lesson: if you're not in the mood to have sex, say no.

My friend showed her coworker a picture of me, which made him want to take me out on a date. I agreed because, A. Who turns down a free meal? and B. I'm easily flattered.

So we go to this swanky place in the city and start off with drinks. It's going well, the drinks are delicious and the conversation's fine. But by the second drink he seemed to be dating his phone instead of me.

Fourth drink in we happened to "run into" his college roommate who also "happens" to be on a date.

Fifth drink is ordered and I warn him I should be making my way home soon.

"Don't worry, I'll get you home at a reasonable time," he said as he chugged his whiskey on the rocks.

He paid the bill and we were in the cab. I thought I was heading back to my sister's apartment.

But he took me to another bar instead. We took shots. There was a dance floor. I'll spare you the details.

Finally I - somehow - got him off the dance floor and into a cab.

"Just come back to my apartment for a little bit," he said.

I really didn't want to.

More shots.

We moved to his couch and began to make out.

He was trying to take my clothes off. I was putting them back on.

"I really should head home," I said. "Honestly, I just want see you naked," he responded.

So, that happened.

Most girls would leave after that. I didn't want to be rude. At least he was honest, right? And that mindset, ladies and gentleman, is why I have all these stories to share with you.

No woman should ever feel pressured to sleep with a man. And on my date from hell, I let that pressure and my thirst for intercourse get the best of me. Twenty three percent of women feel pressured to have sex, according The Body, an online HIV and AIDs resource. Don't fall into that statistic.

So, there was my first tale. Come back for more.

I'd also love to hear from you. Whether it's a specific question or someone just letting me know they're praying for me to eventually get my life together, I accept any and all feedback.

I'm looking forward to getting intimate with you. Until next time, stay gorgeous.


email: features@ubspectrum.com

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