When I think about you, I touch myself
Published: Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Updated: Monday, November 5, 2012 20:11
Has your man been away for too long? Vacation maybe? Have you been suffering from a severe dry spell, and is your sexual frustration becoming a hazard to those around you?
Masturbate. Problem solved.
Masturbation is beneficial to women. It can improve a depressed mood, it can help you relax, it can relieve the symptoms of PMS (menstrual cramps, irritability, and crankiness) and it can also improve your sex life with a partner, according to women.webmd.com.
Side fact: it can also be a really great sleep inducer.
The female version of the birds and the bees goes something like this: guys will want to have sex, but you’re not allowed to have sex, nor are you allowed to want to have sex. With that in mind, women grow up in fear of their own vaginas. If you grew up with parents and older brothers like me, the rule was: you’re not allowed to have sex until you’re married and you’re not allowed to get married until you’re 30.
So my question is: why don’t more women masturbate?
Do you think masturbation is unhealthy? It’s actually very good for you, physically and mentally.
Do you think it makes you dirty or slutty when you touch yourself? Think of it this way: You’ll be in control and completely independent from a partner, which is better than having years of pent up sexual frustration.
If you’re in a relationship, do you think it would be considered a form of cheating? According to plannedparenthood.org: “Some people masturbate as a kind of ‘dress rehearsal,’ to learn more about what they find pleasurable. People can learn about their bodies through masturbating, and this can help them communicate better with their partners about what they enjoy sexually.”
According to a human sexual behavior study done by the Kinsey Institute conducted over 50 years ago, it was reported that 92 percent of males said they masturbated, while only 62 percent of females said the same. A survey conducted in 2010 at Indiana University stated in one year, 82.7 percent of males (age 20-24) masturbated while 64.3 percent of females masturbated.
Masturbation is not something to be ashamed of.
While boys have been stroking themselves since puberty, most girls are ashamed of the sexual urges they feel because people prefer they suppress them rather than explain them. This is why girls begin experimenting with self-stimulation a lot later in life than boys do.
So how should you masturbate?
It’s all about setting the mood that makes you feel most comfortable.
If you have vivid imagination, you might want to form fantasies in your head. That way you have control of what you’re imagining, what kind of sex you’re picturing, and – if you’re in a relationship – you can picture yourself and your partner in a sexy situation that you might want to replicate in the near future.
Or if you’re not great at making up fantasies, there’s always porn.
Out of many of my friends, I’m one of the rare few who masturbates while watching porn – not the only one who gets off, mind you; just one of the only ones who does it with the assistance of James Deen. Porn is a great arousal, and it’s a great teaching tool.
Now, with the mood set, there are different techniques for reaching the self-climax you’ve been working toward.
As a beginner, you might want to start using your fingers. Massage your clitoris, while simultaneously trying to find your G-spot. According to divinecaroline.com, the best way to stimulate yourself is to “rub your fingers up and down the area, or move in small circular movements,” and then get faster as your excitement grows.
It’s all about personal preference. You can go fast or slow; you can push hard or soft – just go with whatever feels best to you.
Or if you can’t seem to find your groove with your fingers, then try vibrators and dildos. The difference between the two is that a vibrator is electrically powered and is mainly used for external stimulation (these are great for clitoral orgasms).
Fun fact: it’s possible to have five orgasms in less than 20 minutes with an external stimulation vibrator.
I implore every UB female student to masturbate at least once. Not only is it a stress reliever, but it really does help your sexual experience with a partner as well because you’ll get to know your body, and in turn it can help your man know your body as well.