Issue
Volume 57, Issue 68
Bills formally announce permanent move to Toronto
By: STEPHEN MARTH
After former Buffalo Bills Owner and President Ralph Wilson, Jr. died Sunday from suspected foul play, daughter Christy Wilson Hoffman announced the sale of the NFL team to Ted Rogers, President and CEO of Rogers Communications. The terms of the sale were not disclosed. [read more]
Buffalo’s Boyd to run for White House
By: DAN MECCA
After constant badgering from excited students and colleagues, and countless in- class political debates, Professor Timothy Boyd declared to his class Tuesday that he plans to run for the country's high office; President of the United States. [read more]
Center for Tomorrow abandoned today
By: JOSHUA BOSTON
In a realization that the prospect of the Center for Tomorrow would never be realized in the present, UB Provost Satish Tripathi ordered the building's demolition. [read more]
Fixing UB’s Cultural Kinetics
By: JOHN IMUS RANIC
Groups of Asians roaming the halls in inconsiderate Mongol hoards. Loud-mouthed black students dancing and fighting in the SU. [read more]
Murderer never letting go
By: GARRETT CARLSON
University Police were dispatched to the Governors Building Monday night after a frantic emergency call was placed around 7:30 p.m. Officers responded quickly to the scene only to find out they were too late as the "Rick Roll" took its latest victim. [read more]
Necro-Animatory Syndrome: A Public Service Announcement
*April Fools Fictional Arical
How to Recognize Necro-Animatory Syndrome [read more]
Professors ban questions in class
By: LESLIE CHURCH
The classroom motto used to be that there was no such thing as a stupid question, but some professors are adopting a new philosophy. A growing trend among professors in the College of Arts and Sciences is to discourage hand-raising in class. [read more]
See me after class
Students encouraged to do homework, teachers
Student-teacher sex scandals make for the stickiest news stories on JuicyCampus.com, but we need to ask ourselves: why is sleeping with teachers so wrong, when it can feel so right? [read more]
TIMELINE
MARCH 21: Space Shuttle STS-123 Endeavor is launched to rendezvous with the international space station. Endeavor is delivering the first section of the Japanese Aerospace Exploration Agency's Kibo Laboratory and the Canadian Space Agency's two-armed robotic system, Dextre. [read more]
UB condoms, not free this year
Some may cost some students 9 months of time.
By: JOANN PAN
The free condoms given away at various UB events throughout the school year since August 2007 have been found to be defective. As a result, the rate of out-of-wedlock pregnancies has skyrocketed among students. [read more]
UB open and close because of Black
By: JOSHUA BOSTON
Despite the extraordinarily clement, spring-like weather, UB decided to remain open today. Vice President for Student Affairs Dennis Black rose before the rooster's crow as normal. Black subsequently did his ritual sun dance, to tempt the ball of fire from the shadows of the Orient. [read more]
UB ugly no more
By: KELLY WARTH
UB officials have implemented a campus dress code as part of the UB 2020 plan. As of yesterday, anyone who wears oversized sunglasses, Spandex leggings as pants, or Ugg boots with sweat pants tucked in will be ticketed. [read more]