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Thursday, April 25, 2024
The independent student publication of The University at Buffalo, since 1950

The perfect location for sexy time

Whether it's after a romantic date, after a night of partying or just because you have that itch that needs to be scratched, sometimes you need to get down and dirty as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, this cannot always happen - especially if you live in an on-campus dorm or an apartment - because it's not polite to have sex when your roommate is chowing down on a turkey sandwich on the other side of the room.

Obviously when you're not living by yourself, you can't hook up whenever or wherever you want. While sharing a room or house can make indulging in sexual desires difficult, there are ways to maneuver around the problem.

It's all about communication and creativity when you live in a dorm room. First off, if you get along with your roommate (or roommates), then you need to be open and honest with them. If you know you and your partner want to spend a romantic night by yourselves in the room, tell your roommates and plan ahead.

I'm sure if you're respectful and get along with your roommate well enough, it won't be a problem for him or her to leave the room for a couple hours while you do your thing. But keep in mind, the dorm walls are incredibly thin, so try not to be loud with your exploits if you don't want to receive angry notes or annoyed looks from your floor mates.

As clich?(c) as the sock on the door might be, it's better than walking in on some guy's hanging dong or a naked girl grinding on your roommate's lap.

Even if you believe your roommate is a very heavy sleeper, I would advise against trying to have sex while he or she is snoozing. Because if your roomie is actually awake and hears the awkward moaning and uncomfortable dirty talk, it will make the atmosphere incredibly rough and difficult to live in.

However, there are some people who are unlucky enough to get placed with someone, or some people, who they don't get along with. When that's the case and polite discussions are just not an option, you're going to need to get creative without being disrespectful.

First try going to your boyfriend or girlfriend's room, and if that's not an option, then you're going to have a venture outside the dorm room. There are facilities around the dorms that aren't your room - try them out. It's college, right? It's a time of exploration and there are secluded places all over campus, free from watchful eyes, you can utilize.

Another group of people that probably have more difficulty finding a good time and place for sex is commuters.

I know for a fact that if I ever tried to bring a boy over when I lived at home, there was no way I'd try doing the dance with no pants when my family was home. That hasn't changed just because I'm in college.

After a night of partying, bringing home a random person into your family home is a terrible plan. First try heading to his or her place. If that doesn't work, there's always car sex. Sometimes it's uncomfortable and awkward because of the lack of space to position but, hey, it's the best you can do.

Even when you live in an on-campus apartment or off-campus house, having your own room doesn't always mean you're free to have sex whenever you want. I know in my house, the walls and floors might as well be loud amplifiers. I can hear my roommate's vibrating phone in the room above me and I can hear basically all conversations taking place in my kitchen, which is two rooms away from my own. If I want to bring someone over, I do my best to let my roommates know or at least put music on, so they don't have to hear sex noises all night.

But one great aspect of living in an apartment is the freedom to have more than just the bedroom to get down and dirty when your roommates aren't home. It's something that's much more difficult to do in your family home or in the dorms, so take advantage of the opportunities.

Email: features@ubspectrum.com


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